And there you are, at the airport, ready to leave to your new homecountry. In the months of preparation there was desire, imagination and a lot of enthusiasm for this adventure. Now, the day of leaving, with everthing you own already on its way in a big truck and with the little remaining in your suitcase, all of a sudden you wonder if this really was such a good idea.
Full conviction you felt during passed months, evaporates in this particular moment and leaves a profound desire to undo your decision. The air between the people you love the most, turns more heavy with every step closer to the customs. Not knowing how to behave, I cough and force my mouth into a smile. Until the moment that it's saying 'only travellers allowed'.
I hate goodbyes
We agreed not to cry. From where we live till the north of Holland would take more hours by car than Holland - Portugal by flight. We have Skype and in case of emergency, we can always come back. We would stay strong en say "see you soon'. But despite of all good arguments and agreements, tears are unstoppable when we kiss and hug for the last time. When we walk away, we will not look back. That would hurt too much. And while walking in direction of the customs, I'm walking away from the people I love the most. My heart breaks.
And it will break over and over again, every time we need to say goodbye after great, special, beautiful and lovely days together. I hate goodbyes.